In my previous life as a magazine journalist I traveled quite a bit. In Sharon’s previous life in the music industry she did her share of traveling too. Parenthood has changed that for us.

That’s why we were glad to see the New York Times publish an article this week on how to mitigate meltdowns when traveling with special needs kids. It's been an issue with us — we've never taken a flight with our child. We've only recently mastered long car rides. We'll get there eventually.

Sharon calls traveling, among other things, the "big energy expense." It acts like a drain on your child, leaving less energy for self-regulation. She's autistic herself, so she's been there.

“Your child is spending more energy to process all the new elements of their environment when they’re traveling,” she said. “These are new sensory experiences and emotions that come along with being away from home—anxiety, excitement, overwhelm, joy, or even homesickness."

The New York Times story listed a handful of suggestions:

WHAT THE TIMES SUGGESTED

All solid advice, all worth using. But the article leaned almost entirely on professional sources — a psychologist, a travel agent.

The comments section told a different story. As it always does. Nearly 100 readers responded with tips.

Here's what was missing.

Sharon says: "With travel, you'll see a greater need for downtime and decompression during the first few days of your trip." That's why in an airport, before it all begins, a quiet, low-stimulation room away from the noise and crowds of the main terminal can serve as the perfect liftoff.

Soft lighting, calming décor, a place to decompress before or after security. I have one of these in my apartment — it's called a closet.

How to find it: Newark's Terminal A has the most robust setup of the three: two separate rooms, one pre-security with a calm forest-and-riverbank theme, one post-security with an underwater theme and its own mock aircraft cabin for practicing plane seating ahead of time. Sounds like something we'd visit whether we're traveling or not.

LaGuardia's Terminal C room, just past security, has soft lighting, bean bag chairs, egg-shaped hanging seats, and its own mock cabin.

JFK doesn't have a purpose-built sensory room in most current terminals — Terminal 1 and Terminal 4 have interfaith meditation spaces and quiet rooms that serve a similar purpose — but a real sensory room is part of the new Terminal One, opening in phases starting mid-2026.

Oh, and this is pretty cool: LaGuardia's Terminal B hands out free KultureCity sensory bags (noise-canceling headphones, fidget tools, sunglasses, visual cue cards) for anyone who might benefit.

Good one! A free lanyard, card, or button that signals a hidden disability to airport staff without you having to explain it in the moment. It's not just for kids — it works for anyone, at any age, and you don't need a diagnosis on file to use it. All three area airports participate.

How to get it: At JFK, free lanyards are available at the Welcome Center in the Arrivals area of every terminal (Terminal 4's is staffed 24 hours; the rest run 6am–midnight).

At LaGuardia, they're at Information Centers in the Arrivals area of Terminals A, B, and C, plus a Guest Experience desk in Terminal B.

At Newark, Welcome Centers in Terminals A, B, and C all carry them. JFK and LaGuardia also let you request one by mail at least 14 days ahead of travel, though delivery in time isn't guaranteed.

A free federal program that connects you with a Passenger Support Specialist — a TSA officer trained specifically to help travelers with disabilities, medical conditions, or anything else that could make screening harder. It's not limited to autism or any single diagnosis; ADHD and other non-apparent conditions qualify too.

How to get it: Call 855-787-2227 at least 72 hours before you fly, or submit a request through tsa.gov. The form is here. The specialist can walk your child through each step of screening before it happens, and at some airports, route you through a calmer, dedicated lane — Newark's Terminal A even lets you move straight from the pre-security sensory room through a specially trained TSA Cares lane into the post-security one.

If you didn't call ahead, you can still ask a TSA officer or supervisor for a Passenger Support Specialist on the spot at the checkpoint. Some airports will also let you bypass the duty-free perfume gauntlet that often sits right after security — ask at the checkpoint, since it's not usually posted.

Some of the traits TSA screens for — avoiding eye contact, fidgeting in line — overlap with common autistic traits. Parents of older teens and young adults report their kids get pulled aside for extra screening often.

How to deal with it: There's no fix for this one, just preparation. If a young adult is flying solo for the first time, tell them extra screening is a real possibility so it doesn't feel like a punishment or a mistake if it happens. Combine with TSA Cares above if you want to arrange support in advance.

Turning an unfamiliar airport into a known one before your child ever sets foot in it. This is a great idea, and we use this for nearly every trip we take (in the car). Our guy has gotten quite good at using Google Street View.

How to get it: Google Street View the entrance. Watch a YouTube walkthrough of the specific terminal. Look up the actual seat on the airline's website — what it looks like, where the power outlet is. None of it requires being physically there.

For kids, watching videos of airplanes and airports ahead of time can turn the unknown into something familiar instead of unpredictable — a simpler, general-purpose version of the walkthrough above if you don't want to get that specific.

Ask for seats away from the galley and restrooms — that's usually where the most noise and foot traffic happens.

Noise-canceling headphones plus a brown noise track on repeat, played through Bluetooth, creates a more complete sound barrier than headphones alone — for the whole airport experience, not just the flight.

How to get it: Search "brown noise" on Spotify or YouTube, both free. For more control over the exact tone, myNoise (free/donation, web and app) lets you adjust the frequency until you find what actually works for your kid.

Simple cards with short phrases can help someone communicate when words won't come — things like needing space, or not feeling well.

If your family member might run off, have a plan ready ahead of time: something identifying them, a way to be reached, a location tracker, and a current photo showing what they're wearing that day.

This is important: How about not scrambling for something your kid will actually eat once you're already hungry, tired, and somewhere unfamiliar?

How to get it: Book non-stop flights when you can. Pre-order a plain meal if the airline allows it, or plan to skip meal service and bring your own. Pack more safe snacks than you think you'll need — conferences, hotels, and unfamiliar cities are notoriously bad places to find something safe.

One parent's approach for when things get loud: pass out small coffee gift cards to nearby passengers with a note attached. As one parent put it: "This is Sal, he is autistic and may make some noises. Coffee on us and thanks for understanding."

Once you’ve landed, some parents mentioned finding a place that functions as a "time out" spot when things get overstimulating — not just a destination, but a place to retreat to within it.

How to get it: A hotel room or cabana can work, but some families rent apartments instead for exactly this reason — more room to reset, less pressure to be quiet for neighbors. And build in fewer activities than standard travel advice suggests: a lot of it assumes you want to maximize every day, which can undo the trip for a kid who needs real downtime to recover between activities.